Another eventful week at the Yoga Retreat began on Sunday with the first ever International Day of Yoga. In the morning our priest, Krishnan Namboodri, led 200 rounds of Surya Namaskar on the Bay Platform with many of the swamis, staff, karma yogis and guests joining in. After 2 hours of unceasing sun salutations while chanting, the priest didn't even break a sweat - what an example of tapping in to an energy source higher than the physical strength mind or body! We also hosted many locals from the Indian community for a lecture on the benefits of the yogic lifestyle and an asana class followed by a beautiful feast. Families and friends celebrated the ancient traditions that have changed the lives of so many individuals around the world.
Wednesday I had my first opportunity to experience Ocean Club, the most exclusive section of our neighboring resort at Atlantis. Accommodations range from $1,000 to $5,000 per night and the world class grounds were nothing short of amazing. Beautiful grassy knolls, hammocks, palm trees, sculptures, and even a 12th century French monastery that was transported stone by stone in the 1960s.
In this beautiful setting guests are invited to join a daily yoga practice led by our Sivanada teachers. The format is quite different from the 2-hour class we practice in the ashram, here we teach a basic 1-hour sequence including sun salutations, asanas and a final relaxation. I am looking forward to return to teach and explore the peaceful gardens!
Yesterday morning our priest held an ocean puja on the beach where Krishna - "the all attractive one" - the embodiment of love & joy who destroys all pain, was invoked through the fire ritual. Encircling the adorned deity while carrying offerings of spices, milk, and ocean water, the swamis chanted until the priest hoisted up the large sculpture and we all followed him into the sea! It was a beautiful puja that felt both uplifting and purifying.
"The Lord dwells in the hearts of all creatures and whirls them round upon the wheel of maya. Run to him for refuge with all your strength, and peace profound will be yours through his grace"
I am always amazed at how time distorts my perceptions of reality. Moving both fast and slow. Sometimes dragging me back into the past and sometimes consuming me with desire and worries of some distant or not so distant future. The practice to live in the now is a concept that often eludes me no matter how hard I try.
Already half way through my 3-month stay at the Sivananda Yoga Retreat on Paradise Island and in so many ways it seems like I arrived yesterday and at the same time I can recount so many things I have learned and experienced. I have now worked over 45 days straight with not one day off. The days begin to blur together into a stream of karmic expansion. I am only just beginning to understand that to serve others is to serve yourself. I have had some difficulty adjusting to the culture here at the Yoga Retreat for a few reasons, including my own expectations and beliefs about what an ashram is and what truly selfless service is. I am constantly realizing that I can create my experience by maintaining control over my thoughts and reactions. I am constantly reminding myself that I am only experiencing that which I am a vibrational match to and if I feel any negative emotion it is because I am not lining up with source energy, which will always give me what I focus on.
My typical day starts at 5:30 with the wake up bell reverberating its way into my tent hut, giving me 30 minutes to shower and make my way to the Garden Platform for 6am satsang. After 30 minutes of silent meditation, another 30 minutes of chanting, one of the senior staff or Swamis will give a talk or lecture for about 30 minutes then we conclude with the Universal prayer, Arati and enjoy prasad (an offering of food, usually fruit, which is blessed throughout the satsang with the vibrations of the prayers, chanting and spiritual company).
Bay West Platform - Intermediate Pranayama & Asana Classes held here
Three days a week I am teaching the 8am intermediate class and the other 4 days I head straight into the Reception office for the morning shift from 7:30am - 1:30pm. The pranayama & asana class runs from 8-9:45am and is followed by brunch which usually consists of a buffet of options including soup, rice, couscous or potatoes, cooked vegetables, salad makings, fruit, oatmeal, bread, butter, cream cheese, peanut butter, jam, granola, almond, soy or regular milk and herbal tea.
In the afternoons we have optional workshops from staff as well as guest speakers on a huge variety of topics or we can use the free time to enjoy the amazing beach, talk a walk to the light house, head into town for some shopping or enjoy a cup of coffee at the Atlantis resort next door! Coffee is not allowed in the ashram because of the affect caffeine has on the mind, there are also some other restrictions besides the lacto-vegetarian diet - the idea being that the sunlight gives food its life-giving energy. We only eat foods that are grown in sunlight (also called "sattvic" or pure) and do not have either dulling or stimulating effects on the mind, that means, no mushrooms, onions, garlic, chili or vinegar.
If I am teaching in the morning then I head into work for the late shift 1:30-7:30pm, or if I'm off I take the 4pm pranayama & asana class. As a teacher I am required to attend 4 classes per week and practice by myself the other three days. This has been an amazing opportunity to gain confidence teaching and motivate me in my own practice. After class we have dinner at 6pm (and no I didn't forget to tell you about lunch - we only eat two meals a day!) and I have been absolutely amazed by the variety and quality of the dinners! Ambika is actually a genius in the kitchen and her food is nothing short of gourmet!! And everyday it is something different and equally impressive!
Fresh coconut in basmati rice, tofu with a mango and red pepper chutney, spring rolls with carrots, beets, yellow peppers & peanut sauce, spinach salad with goat cheese, blueberries & almonds, and for dessert banana slices with nutella, walnuts & shredded coconut!!! and.... that's pretty much all I can say about that! amazing!!!!
In the evening we have another 2 hours of satsang (sanskrit for spiritual company) from 8-10pm again with silent mediation, daily chants & a lecture, performance or concert. This photo was taken at a recent Bansuri concert (traditional Indian flute) given by GS Sachdev and his amazing accompanist on the tabla, pair of drums.
And one more (also audio only) of a performance about love, from the band of Carrie Grossman
And I will leave you with this.... 16 seconds of bliss
While I was in India I took both initiation into a personal mantra as well as a spiritual name. The mantra initiation is a long practiced tradition where the guru performs a puja ceremony and the devotee gives an offering of flowers, fruit, nuts & berries. The mantra is a Sanskrit word or phrase that holds a particularly high vibration and through the practice of meditating on the mantra the devotee is lifted to Universal Consciousness. The mantras are considered seeds which will grow and unfold over time, and in taking on a personal mantra you commit to that mantra for life.
I was also given a spiritual name by my Swamiji, the idea being that the name represents certain qualities of the Divine and in taking the name you will also take on these qualities on many levels. The names were given after the month long course so the guru thoughtfully chose names for each of us on our spiritual path. I was given the name Vidya, विद्या which means true knowledge, education, learning & clarity. Vidya is another name of Goddess Saraswati, who embodies the uplifting & purifying feminine energy of divine wisdom and creativity.
Now that I have been at the ashram I have been using my spiritual name and it is interesting how you feel different when you use a different name! Mostly I find that it is a valuable tool in remembering to see the divine nature of the self as well as recognizing the divine in others as well ~
The first week of my stay at the Yoga Retreat I was immediately impressed by the guest speakers. Dr Eben Alexander, along with his assistant Karen Newell, gave an unbelievable presentation on Sacred Acoustics which he was inspired to explore after a near death experience. The former Harvard Neurosurgeon was sent into a coma from a rare form of meningitis which effectively shut down his neocortex; yet, shockingly he woke up with extremely vivid memories of another dimension that he describes in his book Proof of Heaven.
Now he travels sharing his message of love and aspiring to change the way doctors and hospice workers address death and dying with a concept beyond space and time. His work now focuses on using sacred acoustics, also known as binaural beats, to induce a similar veiling effect on the neocortex by timing layered frequency signals to activate many simultaneous paths to primordial consciousness in the listener. Most effective when used in conjunction with a consistent meditation practice, these vibrations are best experienced with headphones, and are available for free on YouTube - with different tonal layering specific for different uses such as deep sleep, lucid dreaming, astral projection, creativity, focus, improved memory, healing or chakra balancing.
Another speaker that I found to be fascinating was Dr. John Douillard, founder of www.LifeSpa.com as well as an Ayurvedic clinic in Boulder, CO. He defines the purpose of Ayurveda (science of life) as the transformative approach to create clarity of the mind and to free yourself. He discussed the interconnectedness of detoxification and digestion and their roles in how to make the body less dense. By perfecting digestion we increase our body's natural ability to detox and effectively burn fat. He provides a plethora of interesting material and research on his website including the "Colorado Cleanse" as well as a library of videos and articles regarding all things health and wellness. He also advocates the idea of being more in tune with the seasons and following a diet that is connected to the seasonal changes in our bodies and environment. Stating that the average American eats 100% more food than is necessary and most have no idea what foods are even "in season" - I felt inspired to take a more vested interest in connecting with what I am eating AND how well my body is digesting it!
A few tips from Dr Douillard:
1. Drink 1-2 glasses of lemon water ~20 minutes before meals
2. When cooked these fats are completely UN-digestible: canola oil, sunflower oil. safflower oil
3. Remove ALL processed sugars
4. Beets & leafy greens will increase your digestive fire
5. Ginger with lemon & salt before meals will speed digestion
6. Relax while eating & be mindful
7. No cold drinks
8. No eating before bed (at least 3 hours!)
9. Practice oil pulling (ideally with coconut oil) 10 minutes a day
10. Make a daily ritual of abhyanga - a full body oil massage to recharge & rejuvenate your mind and body
image from LifeSpa.com
Yet, it is most important to remember that all these tips and hints and ancient practices are for the ultimate goal of transformation by unlocking the energy within us and utilizing food as medicine to strengthen and support the systems of our bodies.
"The deeper the Self Realization of a man, the more he influences the whole universe by his subtle spiritual vibrations, and the less he himself is affected by the phenomenal flux" -Yogananda from Autobiography of a Yogi
"Serve Love Give Purify Meditate Realize" ~Swami Sivananda
May 1st I flew into the international airport in Nassau and took a cab to the downtown dock for the Yoga Retreat. I was picked up by a small boat and taken across the harbor to Sugar Reef Dock on Paradise Island, my final destination. The grounds of the ashram are as tropical and beautiful as I could have imagined.. gardens, fountains, flowers, palm trees, brightly colored paintings of Indian deities, beautiful altars, hammocks and best of all ~ steps that lead directly to the sand and most amazingly clear blue water I have ever seen!!
One of the main ideas of Vedanta which appeals to me is the emphasis on unity, the idea that all religions, all people, all of creation is just an expression of the one Divine Source. In Indian tradition, many people misinterpret the idea of many gods as polytheistic; however they only believe in One true God, Brahman. All the deities embody different aspects of the Universal Supreme and all of these forms (Jesus, Buddha, Moses, Mohammed, Krishna, Shiva, Shakti, Saraswati, Mary, Durga... and on and on) are merely human representations meant to bring us closer to God. The focus should not be on the form, but rather on the personal relationship with the Divine -- names are many but God is one. There is not only one path to liberation and each persons journey is personal and should never be judged by another but rather we should strive to see God manifested in every living being.
During my 3-month stay I will be working as a karma yogi in the ashram's reception while also participating in the daily schedule, including meditations, kirtan, lectures, asana & pranayama classes and workshops. I have already been amazed by the amount and caliber of special guests that visit and teach here, so far a neurosurgeon, cardiologist, quantum physicist, rabbi, shaik, musicians, and more!! Amazing :)
Returning home to Colorado was exciting for many reasons and the first few months were a literally a whirlwind. One of the deciding factors in my move back to the states was a relationship that unexpectedly turned up while I was in Thailand. The excitement of meeting my long-distant boyfriend, Jorge, made me eager to get home (it seemed unreal that he just happened to live in Colorado too!) and it was perfect timing so I could be home to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family and be there for the birth of my adorable niece Chloe Janelle on December 5th!
It was also nice to be home to celebrate my birthday and Christmas with my family - which seemed like forever since I had gotten a chance to do that.. Unfortunately, Christmas Eve I suddenly got really sick and missed the family tradition to celebrate at my Grandparent's house. Throughout the last week of the year I continued to feel really sick and it seemed unexplainable. Finally, on New Years Eve I found out what what going on.. after waking up feeling nauseous (again!) I saw a doctor and she told me I was pregnant!
After the initial shock and a few long conversations, Jorge and I agreed that although it was really soon we had been getting to know each other for over a year and had already discussed marriage and family, so who are we to question the Universe? We decided to follow our dream of getting married on the beach and began to plan our wedding in San Diego.
From then on we spent all our free time wedding planning and reading up on pregnancy and parenting! But I still wasn't feeling better physically. After two months of feeling sick in a strange and general way that I couldn't really describe, I really started to worry when I started spotting. The doctors told me it was okay and just to monitor it but that it was really common. The internet told me it was either totally fine, or a sign of major complications. My intuition told me there was something very wrong.
A few days later we found ourselves in the ER at midnight and by the time my mom arrived by 1am the doctors had confirmed what I knew already, the pregnancy was lost. After several intense procedures and ultrasounds they opted to do an emergency surgery in the ER. After over 8 hours in the hospital we finally went home, but my recovery would take another three weeks before I was able to go back to work and feel any semblance of health again. I was very lucky to have the support of Jorge, who took insanely good care of me, as well as my adorable kitten, Carrot, who cuddled with me all day everyday when Jorge had to go back to work a week later. Also, I am blessed with the unconditional love and support of my amazing mom, sister, dad, stepmom, and best friends who happen to be scattered around the globe. We were both grateful for Jorge's parents and siblings who were also extremely supportive and encouraging to us.
After such a traumatic experience Jorge and I continued to discuss our future and life plans together. Unfortunately, just weeks before our wedding date I found out that Jorge had not been entirely honest with me when I was in Thailand and India and I began to question everything. Realizing that there was no longer any pressure of expecting a baby, I decided that it was best for me if we took a step back and put our plans on hold for a while and cancelled the wedding.
After a week relaxing with friends and family in San Diego I decided to put in an application for a Residential Study Program at the Sivananda Ashram in the Bahamas. The karma yoga coordinator quickly responded asking how soon I could come! I was shocked at the quick and definitive reply and began making plans to again leave the United States. However, this time I was only committing to a 3-month stay, and hey - who knew the Bahamas is so close?!? So I purchased my round-trip ticket and confirmed my arrival for the 1st of May!
The path of change is truly unpredictable, but I continue to be thankful for the challenges in my life that propel me further in the expansion of my own consciousness. Everything is always working out for me, and even through pain I can see how my experiences are allowing the depth of my compassion to increase as well as my gratitude for all the blessings in my life.
May we not pray for the obstacles to be removed, rather may we pray for strength to overcome.
